|
Exercise #155: Prep
Posted 4/8/06 - 4/13/06
Here are the awards created and submitted by The Desk Drawer listmembers from 4/8/06 through 4/13/06.
Submitted by Steven Williamson:
The Real-ie: An award designed to honor the best new idea for a reality TV show.
The Dubie: An Award specially made for that special person who thinks they have done amazing things, when, in fact, they have only gone about living as a decent person or have not done much at all. (aka the Dubious Award award)
The Like-ie: The award for the highest number of uses of the word 'like' in one sentence. (aka The Like, Wow, man, like I won like, an Award?)
Submitted by Susan Frank:
WERD Award: Worst Entry Ramp Driver : presented to the driver who entering a 70 MPH freeway at 40 mph creates the biggest pile up.
MITCH Award: Most Irritating Toenail Clipping Husband: presented to the man who thinks that a living room or bedroom carpet have to be vacuumed anyway!
GUM Award: Got Us Mad: presented to the person who throws chewing gum away in just the right place for us to step in it.
Submitted by Divya:
The boss-who-will-explain-the-obvious-to-you-in-great-detail-but-will-not-answer-your-question-because-he/she-really-didn't-understand-your-question Award
The Going-At-Well-Below-Speed-Limit-in-a-single-lane-road Award
The Extreme Reality-Distortion Award: This award can apply to a variety of people -- the person who thinks they've made you want to commit to dating them in the first few minutes of conversation. Or say, a corporate “meritocracy” where performance is basically 80% perception and 20% reality.
Submitted by Lata:
Cinema Nuisance Award: This is to be presented, in the middle of a suspenseful scene of the latest film, to the person who talks the loudest with his/her companion or on his/her mobile phone during the screening of any movie in a cinema. If no one is talking aloud (hah! as if), those who neck, play games or text-message with a bright, glaring phone screen and those who knee the backs of seats in front of them qualify, too.
Submitted by Krys Douglas:
National Tailgaters Award: Annual award given to the driver who racks up the greatest mileage tailgating a single automobile. Extra points given for mountainous roads and hazardous weather conditions, The plaque will be engraved with the details of the winning achievement and an image of a shattered universal "NO" sign. If the winner is the driver of a long-haul eighteen wheeler, there will be an additional "special merit" award -- a gold plated statuette of a pair of crossed axles.
Submitted by Mamie Hanscom:
The I A M Award: This is given to the thirteen-year-old boy who has answered his parents with “in a minute” the most times during a period of one month. If he wins without injury, he may go on to the next level, until he reaches the disqualifying age of fourteen.
The E T A [Extreme Tolerance] Award: This award is given to the mother who can ride without speaking in the back seat of a two-door car between two teen-age girls for a period of one hour. If she survives she can go on to the next level, which includes another teenage girl in the front seat, and a two hour trip. If she is still lucid, she can go on to the next level, where the situation remains the same, except this time the driver is a sixteen-year-old girl, and the trip is three hours long.
NOTE -- So far, only one person has finished the third level. At the end of the trip, she staggered from the car and collapsed. She remains in a catatonic state.
Submitted by Jo Best:
National Recognition of Weirdness Award: Presented to the person who has happily answered the most telemarketer calls. The key to winning is the word; happily.
The prize: A phone booth without doors to be installed in the winner’s home.
Certificate of Recognition of Weirdness Award: Presented to anyone who has actually kept the longest conversation going with a telemarketer.
The prize: A medium-directed seance to speak directly with Alexander Graham
Bell.
Acknowledgement of Super Weirdness Award: Presented to a person who has had an unprovoked telemarketer hang up on them.
The prize: An unsigned picture of Alexander Graham Bell.
Submitted by Ann Adams:
Best Parrot Trainer Award, annual prize given to the person who can train a parrot to recite a long poem with the fewest mistakes. This year's poem is Coleridge's “Kubla Khan.”
Submitted by Sally French:
The Adlab Award: Award given to the person who uses all of the address labels sent to them by charities.
The prize is free postage forever.
|
