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Exercise #241: Craft
Posted 12/7/07
I read something at work this week that was incredibly dry and boring. It was a business design document, explaining a new feature in our current software, what changes it would make, and what we could expect from it. The piece was full of “there are” and “there is” lines. My author’s eye kept busy, rearranging sentences and changing words to make the document much more fun. It’s a shame I can’t submit it that way.
For today’s exercise, craft a piece with as few forms of “to be” as you can within it. Watch for:
Wherever you can, rearrange the sentence so the “to be” isn’t needed. I’ve included a couple of sample sentences below.
Please note the shorter word limit on this exercise.
Word limit: 500
Please use the subject line
SUB: Exercise #241/yourname
This:
The storm was fierce. Strong winds were blowing, pulling the leaves from the tree in our yard. It was leaning, trying to keep its hold on the earth.
Could become this:
A fierce storm raged. Strong winds tore the leaves from the tree in our yard, which leaned as it valiantly tried to maintain its hold on the earth.
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