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Exercise #302: Craft
Posted 2/6/09
Roxanne sent me a great exercise question:
How do we, as writers, convey nuance and shades of meaning without insulting our readers by making it too obvious? How do we assure that the dialog we write is “heard” by our reader as we intend? There are so many ways to hear a sentence, and the meanings change greatly.
I remember reading an Agatha Christie story, years and years ago. Her protagonist was hearing a witness describe what a murder victim said: “She wasn’t there.” And Miss Marple pointed out that could have many different meanings, depending on the emphasis. “*She* wasn’t there,” meaning the identity of the person was the most important piece of the sentence. “She *wasn’t * there,” meaning confirmation of something previously suspected. Or, “She wasn’t *there*,” indicating a person was not in the expected place. This has stayed with my writer self as a conundrum to be solved, and I have not yet found the answer.
To add to Roxanne’s note, I use a similar example in a class I teach on presentations. In the part of the training that talks about using vocal variation, I use the phrase, “I didn’t steal the money.” How I emphasize the sentence changes the meaning:
*I* didn’t steal the money - someone else did (and it implies I know who, as well).
I *didn’t* steal the money - how could you possibly think I did this?
I didn’t *steal* the money - I borrowed it.
I didn’t steal the *money* - I took the wallet. Can I help it if the money was in it?
For today’s exercise, write a simple and short section of dialog. Then write it again, placing a different emphasis on one of the lines. How you do this is the point of the exercise, so don’t ask me for cheats! Remember, italics and underlines and such don’t work in plain text. “Extra credit” for doing it a third time!
At the top of your SUB, put the line that changes, so your critiquer will know which line to watch. At the bottom of your SUB, give us the two intended meanings.
Critiquers, did you get the intended meaning from each time the line was used? If not, how could this author have helped you get it?
Word limit: 200 per section, three section maximum
Please use the subject line
SUB: Exercise #302/yourname
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